It's been an interesting day in the Mel house.

"Multiplication flash cards?...Where'd these come from?" I asked Jeremy.
"Oh, Hannah got them from her teacher." He replied.
"Is she having that much trouble with Multiplication? Poor baby!"
"Oh no. She just wanted them. She had to buy them for a dollar."
"A dollar? Where'd she get the money?"
"I dunno. She said don't worry about it. She 'had it covered.' "
"She actually used those words?"
"Yup. She 'has it covered.' "
"Well. Ok. Then. What is she...8 going on 38? She 'had it covered.' a dollar." I laughed and shook my head.
"I know!" He said.

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I worked late at the studio tonight. I knew Jeremy would get home and feed the kids, so I didn't worry about them. After all, they're old enough to spend two hours home alone, or so I thought. Apparently, my cell phone ringer was silenced, so I missed two calls from my children. Seeing that I had voicemail from home, I quickly dialed it up to make sure there were no emergencies I had missed. It's rare, when they are home alone, for them to call me. No doubt, the allure of being able to do whatever they want keeps them from reporting in.

Voicemail #1 from Ruth. "Mom, Josh and Hannah are being really mean. They're trying to shred my math homework."

Two minutes later, if that, I had voicemail #2 from Joshua. "Mom, Ruth greatly exaggerates. She wouldn't know a joke if slapped her in the face 50 times."

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There are moments in life where a child is downright hilarious, but so inappropriate, we as parents have to hold it in. This morning, Hannah brought out her craft kit she's been playing with. It included a page where she can dress the girl on one side, and give the people on the other side hair and make-up, and so forth. She showed Jeremy the dress-up side and said, "Isn't she wonderful? Isn't she beeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuutiful??? Don't you just LOOOOVE her outfit I gave her?"
Jeremy, indulgent Daddy that he is said, "Yes. She IS beautiful."
"And look at these poor children," Hannah said in a sad serious voice while making her eyes big and wide and sorrowful as possible. She flipped the page over to show the bald heads. "These poor children have cancer."
"Hannah," Jeremy said, obviously fighting a smile. "That's really NOT funny. That's tragic when children have cancer."
"Oh," She said. And wandered off.
Jeremy looked at me, "Where does she come UP with this stuff?!?" He imitated her voice, "These poor children have cancer." I mean, I had a hard time not laughing!"

What a day. What. a. day.