He still has a LOT to learn about girls

The Boy has a new crush. Since he was spending every spare moment of his time texting her, it was obvious a new romantic attachment was forming. After I watched them hug at the end of play practice, it became imperative to grill the kid.

"So, do you like I----?" I asked him
"Maybe," He blushed.
"You seem to text her a lot."
"Maybe."
"Is she the girl you hugged the other day?"
"Maybe."
"Are you guys 'going out' ?"
"No."
"Are you going to the Valentine's Dance with her?"
"Uhh...Yes."
"Are you going to bring her a flower?"
"WHAT!?!?! NO WAY! That'd be embarrassing!"
"Girls love flowers. We LOVE flowers."
"No. I'm not bringing her a flower. I'd feel so stupid, standing there, holding a flower, saying 'Here I----, this is for you."
"I'm telling you, bonus points if you bring her something..."

I was beginning to have fun at his expense. The poor kid was so uncomfortable with this line of conversation, I had to prod him more and more. Ruthie, picking up on an opportunity harass her brother suggested, "Maybe one of those chocolate lolly pops."
"Remember when Cole gave Ruthie that hemp bracelet with the peace sign on it? It wasn't a big deal, but Ruthie really loved it," I added. "So maybe not even a flower, maybe there's something else she likes better."
Ruth blushed and nodded.
"No. Way." He said emphatically, turning more red by the moment.

I could tell he felt like this conversation was getting away from him. So I pushed at him some more. A mom's got to find her amusement somewhere. "It doesn't have to be a rose or anything. A carnation. Carnations aren't threatening." I said.
"No. I'm not doing it." He said.
"Ooh, I like carnations," Ruthie said.
"How about you get six flowers. One for each of your little girlfriends. Then you'd be REALLY popular. Oh my goodness, you'd have a harem for LIFE!"
Joshua just glared at me. "Six?!"

A few minutes later, Jeremy wandered downstairs into the conversation. He listened while Joshua tried to win a few points on his side of the debate. "I just texted I----, and she said she wasn't a flower kind of gal. So. There." Joshua said.
"No girl," Jeremy said, "Is going to tell you what they want. You're supposed to guess. Or they'll always say the opposite, son. Because it doesn't mean anything when they tell you. Not only that, but you just ruined the 'romance' factor by telling her what you guys were talking about. It's the surprise and the gift giving elements that makes it 'romantic.' That is what girls like."
Joshua made a face. "I'm still not bringing her a flower."
"I'm wouldn't call myself much of a 'flower' girl either, Josh, but when Daddy brings them home and I'm not expecting it, I go all gooey. All girls, deep inside, like flowers when it's a surprise. Especially when its a surprise. Don't you like flowers, Ruth?"
Ruthie nodded.
"How about you, Hannah? Do you like flowers?"
"I'm more of a gorilla kind of gal, myself," Hannah said nodding.
"Well, then. Your future boyfriend is going to have an interesting time of it, finding you a gorilla."
"It better be stuffed," Jeremy added, dead pan, "I'm not housing any large furry apes in the back yard."