"Cole asked me to the fifth and sixth grade dance," Ruthie announced yesterday after dinner. The fifth and sixth grade dance is a bit of a joke. It's loud music, and packs of ten through twelve year olds roaming around the cafeteria, stopping once and awhile to graze at the food table. About five to ten people actually dance in a group. The boys usually stay on one half of the room, the girls to the other. Being 'asked' to the dance, well, I wasn't too worried...yet. It wasn't as if I was going to let her actually get picked up at our front door for the dance. Meeting at the cafeteria door? Sure. If that's being 'asked' to the dance, well, I can't argue about that.
"Who's Cole? What is he like? Is he good enough for my little girl?" Jeremy started rapid fire questioning with in his deep, "I-sound-like-a-radio-announcer," voice. It's the same voice he used to use whenever Joshua asks a gazillion questions "why why why?" After a bit, Jeremy will use his deep voice and say "Well you see son, because of the earths gravitational pull..." It usually shuts up the "Why" questions pretty quickly.
Jeremy continued, "Will he come to the door in a suit and tie? Will he be chivalrous to you? Will he open doors? Will he hold out chairs? Will he keep his hands to himself?"
Ruthie giggled, thinking he was joking. I kind of suspected he was beginning to set up future expectations under the guise of humor, for when it did matter.
"Daaaaaadddddddddyyyyyyyyyy," Ruthie drawled out, exasperated. "We're just meeting at the dance, and he's escorting me in."
"What do you mean by escorting? Do you even know what the word means? Maybe I should show up and talk to him."
Joshua, who was washing dishes, was thoroughly enjoying the exchange. "Maybe," he said, stirring up trouble, "Maybe you should chaperon, Dad."
"Maybe I should," said Jeremy.
"Why would you want to chaperon?" Ruthie said.
"So I can keep my eye on this Cole," Jeremy said, scrunching up his face and bulging out one eye, while raising his eye brow. He continued to look at her, and began to scratch his chin, as in deep thought. "Hmmmm...Maybe I should make up some rules for this dance."
"Yeah," said Josh, chiming in."Strict And Un-followable Rules." He changed his voice to sound like the wicked witch of the west, "You both shall remain ten feet away from each other at all times when you dance..."
Ruthie stomped her foot on the floor, "Guuuuuyssss! Stooooop it." She mock whined, attempting not to giggle again. I peeked into the kitchen, there was a huge smile on her face. She was loving the attention...for now. I'm not so sure she'll like it when she's sixteen and the male members of the family actual mean these words.
"Yup," said Jeremy. "I think I'm gonna be a chaperon. Make sure this Cole is good enough for my little girl...Maybe, I'll wear a tuxedo..."
"Daddy, NO! You'll embarrass me!"
"Hmm, maybe I could wear a tuxedo and a silly hat..."
"Daddy, you wouldn't would you?"
"Maybe I'll wear a tuxedo, a silly hat, and DANCE in the middle of the floor...maybe a silly dance..."
"Daddy! You're just joking, right?"
"I don't know...am I?"
"Daddy, please don't."
Later he asked me, "Do you think I was wrong to tease her like that? Do you think I picked on her too much?'
"Nah," I said. "She'll be lucky if this Cole even says two words to her all night at the dance. Besides, It's your job. Might as well set the expectations up now. Good job keeping it light and fluffy when it doesn't really matter. Because it will matter later on..."
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