In Which I Discover It's All About "The Hair"

I think he's adorably and delightfully baffled.  He has no clue of his appeal, apparently, as he's just starting to realize girls don't have cooties.  The girls seem to be flocking around him and he can't quite figure out why.  I don't know what stratosphere of the junior high social ladder these girls occupy, whether they are the kind a guy would desire the attentions of or not. But he certainly doesn't seem to mind.

I started noticing the changes in his demeanor when he decided to leave his hair long. Being busy with the studio, it took me a couple of months to get him a hair cut. He had always worn it really short, and was miserable about how long his hair was getting. Daily I would get the "When are you getting my hair cut?" question put to me. One day, he came home and said, "I don't know why you always get my hair cut so short. I like it this way." I wanted to smack him. I'd been trying to get him to grow it out for about a year, and he fought me all the time. But what does Mom know? So why the sudden change of heart?  A girl told him she liked his hair better that way.


During the musical, he hung out with the other girls in the play.  He would show off for them, and they would demand he repeat his antics over and over again. "Do your old man voice, Josh. Do your swagger walk, Josh. Do your crocodile hunter accent, Josh." Joshua, like his father, is full of 'stupid human tricks.'  They come up with these crazy impressions and personalities that amuse and delight small impromptu audiences.  Before I knew it, they were texting each other, and calling him on his cell phone, constantly.  As I can tell, thus far, he texts his friend, Joshua, and about five different girls, at least.  I've lost track of their names. 

Being extroverted, Joshua naturally enjoys all of the attention; however, up until recently, his crowd of followers have all been male.  It's clear, he's not too sure what to do with all of these sudden female followers. As his mother, I'm almost shocked at how aggressive they are in gaining his attention.

The other night, as I wrote before, three of them showed up in my back yard after spring play auditions to find out why Joshua wasn't there.  Like a backwards version of Romeo and Juliet, they flirted with him from down below, while he stuck his head out the second floor window. Eventually, I made him go downstairs, so as not to disturb the neighbors with their giggling and tittering, which was becoming quite loud the more Joshua flirted back with them. When he wants to, he can be all charm.

So, today he climbed in the car, and seemed a little disgruntled and mildly exasperated. "Now I have a different group of girls asking me to do stuff." He said, as if he can't figure out why he's being the focus of so much unasked for female attention, and uncertain as to whether or not he still liked it.
"Stuff?"
"You know, like, 'Do you're old-man voice, Josh' They keep asking me to do my old man voice."
"Who is it this time?"
"Oh Hannah...and just other girls. Just not the same girls."
I started to ask which Hannah, as there are two in his class. Instead I chose to say, "Oh, I see." I dropped it, as he seemed disinclined to say anymore, thinking, I'd just bet there's a bunch of other guys wishing they had his problem.

I've heard of Dad's threatening to buy a shot gun, or a big baseball bat to discourage unworthy suitors for their daughters. What weapon of choice does a mom have to fend off all the girls from her son?