...and it's a little shorter than he wanted even though it will grow back out and be nice and shaggy again.
We got back into the van after leaving the salon. As Josh buckled himself in, he said, "My posse is going to be so unhappy with me that I got my hair cut."
I knew it was all about the hair...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Friday, April 09, 2010
In Which I Discover It's All About "The Hair"
I think he's adorably and delightfully baffled. He has no clue of his appeal, apparently, as he's just starting to realize girls don't have cooties. The girls seem to be flocking around him and he can't quite figure out why. I don't know what stratosphere of the junior high social ladder these girls occupy, whether they are the kind a guy would desire the attentions of or not. But he certainly doesn't seem to mind.
I started noticing the changes in his demeanor when he decided to leave his hair long. Being busy with the studio, it took me a couple of months to get him a hair cut. He had always worn it really short, and was miserable about how long his hair was getting. Daily I would get the "When are you getting my hair cut?" question put to me. One day, he came home and said, "I don't know why you always get my hair cut so short. I like it this way." I wanted to smack him. I'd been trying to get him to grow it out for about a year, and he fought me all the time. But what does Mom know? So why the sudden change of heart? A girl told him she liked his hair better that way.
During the musical, he hung out with the other girls in the play. He would show off for them, and they would demand he repeat his antics over and over again. "Do your old man voice, Josh. Do your swagger walk, Josh. Do your crocodile hunter accent, Josh." Joshua, like his father, is full of 'stupid human tricks.' They come up with these crazy impressions and personalities that amuse and delight small impromptu audiences. Before I knew it, they were texting each other, and calling him on his cell phone, constantly. As I can tell, thus far, he texts his friend, Joshua, and about five different girls, at least. I've lost track of their names.
Being extroverted, Joshua naturally enjoys all of the attention; however, up until recently, his crowd of followers have all been male. It's clear, he's not too sure what to do with all of these sudden female followers. As his mother, I'm almost shocked at how aggressive they are in gaining his attention.
The other night, as I wrote before, three of them showed up in my back yard after spring play auditions to find out why Joshua wasn't there. Like a backwards version of Romeo and Juliet, they flirted with him from down below, while he stuck his head out the second floor window. Eventually, I made him go downstairs, so as not to disturb the neighbors with their giggling and tittering, which was becoming quite loud the more Joshua flirted back with them. When he wants to, he can be all charm.
So, today he climbed in the car, and seemed a little disgruntled and mildly exasperated. "Now I have a different group of girls asking me to do stuff." He said, as if he can't figure out why he's being the focus of so much unasked for female attention, and uncertain as to whether or not he still liked it.
"Stuff?"
"You know, like, 'Do you're old-man voice, Josh' They keep asking me to do my old man voice."
"Who is it this time?"
"Oh Hannah...and just other girls. Just not the same girls."
I started to ask which Hannah, as there are two in his class. Instead I chose to say, "Oh, I see." I dropped it, as he seemed disinclined to say anymore, thinking, I'd just bet there's a bunch of other guys wishing they had his problem.
I've heard of Dad's threatening to buy a shot gun, or a big baseball bat to discourage unworthy suitors for their daughters. What weapon of choice does a mom have to fend off all the girls from her son?
I started noticing the changes in his demeanor when he decided to leave his hair long. Being busy with the studio, it took me a couple of months to get him a hair cut. He had always worn it really short, and was miserable about how long his hair was getting. Daily I would get the "When are you getting my hair cut?" question put to me. One day, he came home and said, "I don't know why you always get my hair cut so short. I like it this way." I wanted to smack him. I'd been trying to get him to grow it out for about a year, and he fought me all the time. But what does Mom know? So why the sudden change of heart? A girl told him she liked his hair better that way.
During the musical, he hung out with the other girls in the play. He would show off for them, and they would demand he repeat his antics over and over again. "Do your old man voice, Josh. Do your swagger walk, Josh. Do your crocodile hunter accent, Josh." Joshua, like his father, is full of 'stupid human tricks.' They come up with these crazy impressions and personalities that amuse and delight small impromptu audiences. Before I knew it, they were texting each other, and calling him on his cell phone, constantly. As I can tell, thus far, he texts his friend, Joshua, and about five different girls, at least. I've lost track of their names.
Being extroverted, Joshua naturally enjoys all of the attention; however, up until recently, his crowd of followers have all been male. It's clear, he's not too sure what to do with all of these sudden female followers. As his mother, I'm almost shocked at how aggressive they are in gaining his attention.
The other night, as I wrote before, three of them showed up in my back yard after spring play auditions to find out why Joshua wasn't there. Like a backwards version of Romeo and Juliet, they flirted with him from down below, while he stuck his head out the second floor window. Eventually, I made him go downstairs, so as not to disturb the neighbors with their giggling and tittering, which was becoming quite loud the more Joshua flirted back with them. When he wants to, he can be all charm.
So, today he climbed in the car, and seemed a little disgruntled and mildly exasperated. "Now I have a different group of girls asking me to do stuff." He said, as if he can't figure out why he's being the focus of so much unasked for female attention, and uncertain as to whether or not he still liked it.
"Stuff?"
"You know, like, 'Do you're old-man voice, Josh' They keep asking me to do my old man voice."
"Who is it this time?"
"Oh Hannah...and just other girls. Just not the same girls."
I started to ask which Hannah, as there are two in his class. Instead I chose to say, "Oh, I see." I dropped it, as he seemed disinclined to say anymore, thinking, I'd just bet there's a bunch of other guys wishing they had his problem.
I've heard of Dad's threatening to buy a shot gun, or a big baseball bat to discourage unworthy suitors for their daughters. What weapon of choice does a mom have to fend off all the girls from her son?
Saturday, April 03, 2010
He Might Like Girls, But Not Enough To Have His Video Game Interrupted
Joshua has a flock of admirers. Daily, several girls from his class text him, call him, surround him, and flirt with him, constantly vying for his attention. Of course he eats up the attention, showing off, and strutting around like male members of the species do, when impressing females. But he has his standards. No one, but no one, can compete with Lord of the Rings Online.
Today, his cell phone rang and rang and rang. Finally he answered it, "What?! Marilyn...I'm in the middle of something really important. I'm playing this game, and I'm dying. I can't pause to talk to you."
A few minutes later, it rang again.
And again.
And again.
Finally, realizing she was getting no where talking to Joshua's voice mail, Marilyn, decided to call the land line. Jeremy answered. Trying to keep the laughter and mockery out of his voice, he repeated Josh's words, "I'm sorry, Marilyn, Joshua is REALLY busy. He's playing a game and he's dying. He just can't pause."
Later this evening, Jeremy, unable to contain his laughter any longer told me this story.
"Man, he is SO hosing his future chances at dating some of these girls," I said. "He might as well stamp a huge sign on his forehead "NERD!" or "GEEK!" now and get it over with. I might need to instruct him on the whole 'Girls are more important than Video Games" just in case. Because when he finally does figure that out...it might be too late by then."
Today, his cell phone rang and rang and rang. Finally he answered it, "What?! Marilyn...I'm in the middle of something really important. I'm playing this game, and I'm dying. I can't pause to talk to you."
A few minutes later, it rang again.
And again.
And again.
Finally, realizing she was getting no where talking to Joshua's voice mail, Marilyn, decided to call the land line. Jeremy answered. Trying to keep the laughter and mockery out of his voice, he repeated Josh's words, "I'm sorry, Marilyn, Joshua is REALLY busy. He's playing a game and he's dying. He just can't pause."
Later this evening, Jeremy, unable to contain his laughter any longer told me this story.
"Man, he is SO hosing his future chances at dating some of these girls," I said. "He might as well stamp a huge sign on his forehead "NERD!" or "GEEK!" now and get it over with. I might need to instruct him on the whole 'Girls are more important than Video Games" just in case. Because when he finally does figure that out...it might be too late by then."
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Last Night I Got a Glimpse of My Future
"Cole asked me to the fifth and sixth grade dance," Ruthie announced yesterday after dinner. The fifth and sixth grade dance is a bit of a joke. It's loud music, and packs of ten through twelve year olds roaming around the cafeteria, stopping once and awhile to graze at the food table. About five to ten people actually dance in a group. The boys usually stay on one half of the room, the girls to the other. Being 'asked' to the dance, well, I wasn't too worried...yet. It wasn't as if I was going to let her actually get picked up at our front door for the dance. Meeting at the cafeteria door? Sure. If that's being 'asked' to the dance, well, I can't argue about that.
"Who's Cole? What is he like? Is he good enough for my little girl?" Jeremy started rapid fire questioning with in his deep, "I-sound-like-a-radio-announcer," voice. It's the same voice he used to use whenever Joshua asks a gazillion questions "why why why?" After a bit, Jeremy will use his deep voice and say "Well you see son, because of the earths gravitational pull..." It usually shuts up the "Why" questions pretty quickly.
Jeremy continued, "Will he come to the door in a suit and tie? Will he be chivalrous to you? Will he open doors? Will he hold out chairs? Will he keep his hands to himself?"
Ruthie giggled, thinking he was joking. I kind of suspected he was beginning to set up future expectations under the guise of humor, for when it did matter.
"Daaaaaadddddddddyyyyyyyyyy," Ruthie drawled out, exasperated. "We're just meeting at the dance, and he's escorting me in."
"What do you mean by escorting? Do you even know what the word means? Maybe I should show up and talk to him."
Joshua, who was washing dishes, was thoroughly enjoying the exchange. "Maybe," he said, stirring up trouble, "Maybe you should chaperon, Dad."
"Maybe I should," said Jeremy.
"Why would you want to chaperon?" Ruthie said.
"So I can keep my eye on this Cole," Jeremy said, scrunching up his face and bulging out one eye, while raising his eye brow. He continued to look at her, and began to scratch his chin, as in deep thought. "Hmmmm...Maybe I should make up some rules for this dance."
"Yeah," said Josh, chiming in."Strict And Un-followable Rules." He changed his voice to sound like the wicked witch of the west, "You both shall remain ten feet away from each other at all times when you dance..."
Ruthie stomped her foot on the floor, "Guuuuuyssss! Stooooop it." She mock whined, attempting not to giggle again. I peeked into the kitchen, there was a huge smile on her face. She was loving the attention...for now. I'm not so sure she'll like it when she's sixteen and the male members of the family actual mean these words.
"Yup," said Jeremy. "I think I'm gonna be a chaperon. Make sure this Cole is good enough for my little girl...Maybe, I'll wear a tuxedo..."
"Daddy, NO! You'll embarrass me!"
"Hmm, maybe I could wear a tuxedo and a silly hat..."
"Daddy, you wouldn't would you?"
"Maybe I'll wear a tuxedo, a silly hat, and DANCE in the middle of the floor...maybe a silly dance..."
"Daddy! You're just joking, right?"
"I don't know...am I?"
"Daddy, please don't."
Later he asked me, "Do you think I was wrong to tease her like that? Do you think I picked on her too much?'
"Nah," I said. "She'll be lucky if this Cole even says two words to her all night at the dance. Besides, It's your job. Might as well set the expectations up now. Good job keeping it light and fluffy when it doesn't really matter. Because it will matter later on..."
"Who's Cole? What is he like? Is he good enough for my little girl?" Jeremy started rapid fire questioning with in his deep, "I-sound-like-a-radio-announcer," voice. It's the same voice he used to use whenever Joshua asks a gazillion questions "why why why?" After a bit, Jeremy will use his deep voice and say "Well you see son, because of the earths gravitational pull..." It usually shuts up the "Why" questions pretty quickly.
Jeremy continued, "Will he come to the door in a suit and tie? Will he be chivalrous to you? Will he open doors? Will he hold out chairs? Will he keep his hands to himself?"
Ruthie giggled, thinking he was joking. I kind of suspected he was beginning to set up future expectations under the guise of humor, for when it did matter.
"Daaaaaadddddddddyyyyyyyyyy," Ruthie drawled out, exasperated. "We're just meeting at the dance, and he's escorting me in."
"What do you mean by escorting? Do you even know what the word means? Maybe I should show up and talk to him."
Joshua, who was washing dishes, was thoroughly enjoying the exchange. "Maybe," he said, stirring up trouble, "Maybe you should chaperon, Dad."
"Maybe I should," said Jeremy.
"Why would you want to chaperon?" Ruthie said.
"So I can keep my eye on this Cole," Jeremy said, scrunching up his face and bulging out one eye, while raising his eye brow. He continued to look at her, and began to scratch his chin, as in deep thought. "Hmmmm...Maybe I should make up some rules for this dance."
"Yeah," said Josh, chiming in."Strict And Un-followable Rules." He changed his voice to sound like the wicked witch of the west, "You both shall remain ten feet away from each other at all times when you dance..."
Ruthie stomped her foot on the floor, "Guuuuuyssss! Stooooop it." She mock whined, attempting not to giggle again. I peeked into the kitchen, there was a huge smile on her face. She was loving the attention...for now. I'm not so sure she'll like it when she's sixteen and the male members of the family actual mean these words.
"Yup," said Jeremy. "I think I'm gonna be a chaperon. Make sure this Cole is good enough for my little girl...Maybe, I'll wear a tuxedo..."
"Daddy, NO! You'll embarrass me!"
"Hmm, maybe I could wear a tuxedo and a silly hat..."
"Daddy, you wouldn't would you?"
"Maybe I'll wear a tuxedo, a silly hat, and DANCE in the middle of the floor...maybe a silly dance..."
"Daddy! You're just joking, right?"
"I don't know...am I?"
"Daddy, please don't."
Later he asked me, "Do you think I was wrong to tease her like that? Do you think I picked on her too much?'
"Nah," I said. "She'll be lucky if this Cole even says two words to her all night at the dance. Besides, It's your job. Might as well set the expectations up now. Good job keeping it light and fluffy when it doesn't really matter. Because it will matter later on..."
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