"There's this girl at school, and she gets mad at me all the time for no good reason!" Joshua complained to his father one evening. "I try to tell her something, and it just makes her furious!"
"Well, uh, what exactly are you saying to her?" Jeremy asked.
"Well, she keeps saying she's gotta diet and stuff, 'cuz she's like fat and stuff, but she's not. She's thin. In fact, I told her she was crazy to think she needed to diet. I told her she's skinny as a twig."
Jeremy goggled at The Boy in horrified amusement. "Um, son, see uh, when a female says she's fat, and you know she's not, 'skinny as a twig' is not a compliment. Telling her she's thin might be ok. But usually just don't touch that subject with a ten foot pole. It's a losing argument. It will never end pretty. Trust me."
"But she is," Josh insisted. "Why would she be offended by being called 'skinny as a twig' ?"
"Because you're comparing her to a branch. That's why. A branch. Do you think a branch is attractive? Do you think any girl or woman wants to be told they look like a branch?"
"Oh."
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