Why me?

The morning started out hectic, like always. It was my turn for the neighborhood car pool since our school district doesn't bus the kids to school.  My kids were moving slower than molasses. And in the middle of my fifth reminder to "get your shoes on", I got a phone call.

"Mama, who's Sun Cocoa, Applus?" Ruth read the caller ID as she handed me the phone. "Sunoco, A-plus," I corrected.  I had a bad feeling about this.

"Hey babe. What happened," I knew it was Jeremy. I saw his cell phone sitting on the piano, uncharged, which explained why he was calling from a gas station.

"Um, I ran out of gas."

"Well, you're just going to have to wait. I have to get the kids to school and neighbors are depending on me."

"Uh, Ok. Um, when will that be?'

"I don't know. I'm still in my pajamas with a pair of jeans. I haven't brushed my teeth. Nor put in my contacts, I need to shower...and I have an Echo-cardiogram at eleven. I wont have time to come back and do those things, so I guess you'll have to wait till I'm ready. Maybe you should call your work." (Do I really have to tell him these things?)

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea. I'll call my boss."

"Where did your car die?"

"On the exit ramp. I walked the rest of the way to the gas station. I was going to walk to work, but it was too cold."

I sighed the sigh of the beleaguered housewife, and hung up.

Around 9:15, after I had dropped everyone off, and put myself together, I called to tell him I was heading out the door. Panic began to bloom in my chest as I encountered an accident on my way to get him. My valiant rescue had a time constraint, and I wasn't sure what to do. So I called him again.

"Go through the city."

"Isn't that slower? Will I have time?"

"Actually it's faster, and you will have time."

So I plodded my way through red light after red light (faster my...) until I finally got to his place of employment. Apparently his boss picked him up at the gas station. He jumped into the car and I felt compelled to lecture.

"The car was near E two days ago when I had it and ran the 2 blocks to the convenience store." I know I could have tanked it up for him, but since he never tanks me up, I wasn't feeling so kindly towards him on Wednesday. Only today did I remember why I'm often the one to fill up the cars.

He shrugged sheepishly, and I wanted to kill him. "I dunno." Honestly, it's worse than dealing with a teenager sometimes. "My gas light must be broken though."

"You can't rely on that. You need to fill it up when it gets into the 'red zone' on the meter. Sheesh!"

"I know. I know. Do you have to lecture?"

"Don't you think I have a right to have at least ONE little lecture?"

"I guess so." We were silent for a few minutes. "I just thought I could make it one more time."

Trying my hardest to not beat my head against the dashboard, I threw him an incredulous look. "You can't just think you can make it 'one more time!' You've been running around on E for TWO WHOLE DAYS!"

"I thought you weren't going to lecture anymore."

"You started it again."

He had the gall to look amused.

 "I'm not laughing," I flatly declared, clearly annoyed.

He laughed.

"Really, I don't find this funny at all. My whole morning was messed up."

He tried to contain his chuckle with a snort.

"And REALLY walking to work? Do you know how far it is? It would have taken you an hour from where the car died."

"Yeah, besides that I was cold. My ears were about to freeze off, they hurt so bad."

"Didn't you wear the hood on your jacket?"

"Uh, no."

"Why not? It's freakin' below zero with that windchill!"

"I didn't want to mess up my hair." I just stared at him. This is the man whose hair performs an anti-gravity maneuver all weekend long because he doesn't feel like combing it, often leaving the house looking like he just got out of bed, too.  I couldn't stop staring at him. "What?" He finally broke the silence.

"You. Didn't. Want. To. Mess. Up. Your. Hair?" I asked. "Since when have you ever cared about your hair?"

This started another round of laughter from Jeremy and a bunch of one liners in his 'monty python' voice. "What? What's that? I can't hear you. I have no ears. Have you noticed my flowing locks?" "Who needs ears when you've got a lovely mane of hair." "My ears have fallen off from frostbite, but look I've got great hair!"

Sigh.