I hate junk mail

I don't understand how they work the mailing lists. I really don't. When I had my first born, I ended up on a gazillion lists for new baby stuff. But, after he reached a year of age, I stopped receiving all of those coupons and free diaper samples, until I had my second child. Same scenario. However, when I had child number three, the diaper coupons resumed their attack on my mail slot when she turned two years old. I should have been getting coupons for pull-ups, but no. I was receiving newborn diaper samples. My girls were thrilled, diapers for their baby dolls and just the right size!

So, I figured I would just wait it out, and eventually the freebies that I no longer needed would stop. I was wrong. They just keep recycling themselves, and with different names! No longer need I be called "Mel" for I am now Le B. Ooh, how about the MYSTERIOUS Le B. Jeremy enjoyed putting on his best french accent as he handed me my junk mail. "Here you go, Luh Beh."

Everyone has had this happen to them at one point. I remember when my mother ended up with mail addressed to Berbie. Berbie is no-where near the spelling of her real name. Not even remotely close. Oh, ok, her name does start with a B, but that's about it. So, it isn't the Le B. so much that bothers me. Or the fact that I can't get off of the new mommy list of doom.

See, I started receiving mail for retired persons: AARP, Medicare, free screenings, etc. Jeremy exclaimed one day,"What kind of lists are you on!? It's like they think you're some senior citizen that has just given birth!?" Tonight he added, "They must figure anyone who takes as much medication as you do must be old." Gee thanks.

Hey! I only LOOK like I'm in my thirties! I'm really seventy-three. That plastic surgery did me some good. But I'm not sure about these diapers. They're a bit too small for me to fit into. What ever happened to depends?