Chocolate Attack!

The other night Jeremy had some vanilla ice cream. First, vanilla ice cream, in my book is a waste of good cream. It shouldn’t be allowed to have such a pitiful flavor for ice cream to exist on the planet. (I pity you vanilla people who are about to throw rocks at me for blaspheming your beloved flavor). And while I do allow a tolerance when something evil and chocolatey is being poured over the vanilla ice cream, mind you, its not as good as the real thing, chocolate ice cream.  Because hey, it redeems the evil vanilla....a little. Well, horror of horrors, we were out of Hershey's syrup. They say necessity is the mother of all invention. It's also the source of my creativity, I would add. And being the creative guy that he is and quite bummed at the thought of plain ice cream, he started hunting through our cabinets. Lo and Behold! The instant hot cocoa.

"What on earth are you doing?" I asked.
"Pouring instant hot cocoa powder on my ice cream," he replied as if this is a common every day kind of thing to do.
"Is it good?"
"Sure why not?"
"Mm, okaaaaaaay." Then I tried it. And wow...it was pretty darn good... as in, not-quite-a-malted-milkshake-good. (Especially with those mini-marshmallows in them. Can I help it if I like the mini-dehydrated marshmallows?)

That was a few months ago. Today, I decided to try something. I had chocolate ice cream...AND Hershey’s syrup AND Instant Hot Cocoa powder. Yes, it was indeed a chocolate attack. I stuck a small scoop in a coffee mug, drizzled the Hershey’s and sprinkled with the cocoa power. Mmmmmm.

I would have preferred a brownie...but in lieu of, this was almost chocolatey enough.

I'm french fried, crispy, and toasted too!

Boy did I get burnt, french fried, and just a wee bit crispy.We took a stay-cation this past weekend, and ventured out to the beach for a day trip on Saturday.  It was tons of fun, but we all got a little toasty. It wasn't as if I didn't apply sunblock. Actually, the spots I applied block to, are just fine. It's my back. The part I can't reach and so asked Jeremy to slather me up.


His African American heritage allows him to have enough melanin that he's never burnt, well, until the other day at the pool when he foolishly didn't want to put any on. "OH I'll be FINNNNNNNNEEEE" he said. Hahahahahhahaha...oh wait, did I just evilly cackle out loud? whoops! Yes that's right, he actually got burnt.


Being a novice at such things as sunblock application, Jeremy didn't apply the lotion well at all and now I have swirls on my back. One spot looks like a wing. He felt so bad, I burnt so badly.  "OH man, I'm fired. Don't ever make me do this job again," He exclaimed when he saw my back.  So I fired him, and hired Ruthie instead. She has been the new back sunblock-applier-person.

We did have a blast at the beach though. It was nice to be on a mini-vacation with just the five of us. The kids loved the sand, digging large holes for unsuspecting persons to fall in, and making 'sand dough.' We might try and go back later this summer. Might being the operative word. If we do, I'll be sure to have Ruthie put on my sunblock. 

The Tale of the Loving Wife

Jeremy has been completely under the weather. Having been coughing for a couple of days, he has kept me up at night. Frankly, I have my own cough going on, and could use the sleep. Last night, he crawled into bed and started sniffing, snorting, sneezing, coughing, hacking, and wheezing.
"Why don't you take something?"
"I'm fine."
"You sound terrible. You should take something," I said again, thinking of myself and my deep desire for a good night's sleep.
"Nah, I'll be ok."
"Quit being a tough guy, and take something. Oh I get it, you don’t want to go back down two flights of steps. If I go get some drugs, will you take it?"
"oh, alright, " he conceded.
I ran to the kitchen where I keep our medicine and got out the generic, cherry flavored NyQuil. Now, I know NyQuil is not world renown as having and exquisite and delicate flavor,  but the cherry isn't too bad. In fact, usually the generic brand is better tasting than the regular name brand. I don’t really have a problem with it. I brought the NyQuil and the measuring spoons upstairs."Here you go," I said as I handed Jeremy the spoon and magic elixir that promised me a good night sleep.
"How much am I supposed to take?"
"Hmm, lesseee here," I took the bottle back and read the label. "Looks like two tablespoons."
"TWO TABLESPOONS?!?!?!?" He replied, incredulously. "How about I just take half a dose?"
"You're a big guy, you should take the full dose."
"I'll be fine. I don’t need it."
"Well, I won't," I said. "You kept me up last night with all your carrying on, and I want to be able to sleep. I'm sick too, you know."
"Fine, I'll take it," he said with a big sigh. Jeremy poured himself about 3/4ths of the tablespoon, as if I'm not going to notice the spoon wasn’t full. Suddenly a huge magnetic force caused the spoon to resist making it to his mouth.
"You're gonna spill it," I said.
He's made faces. He hadn’t even taken a sip.
"Quit being a baby. The kids take medicine better than this. Just down it and quit the dramatics."
He took a very very small sip."GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ERRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" He writhed and shook the bed.

Oh man, did I switch the nyquil with the Cyanide? I must have. "Com'mon, just finish the darn tablespoon. Its not that much!"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! ARRRRRRRRRRGHH! I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS!" more writhing and shaking, his face was contorted beyond recognition.

"You're gonna wake up the kids carrying on that way...just finish the darn spoonful; you still have another to go!" I tried hard not to giggle.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!! ARRRRRGGHH RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" This time he growled louder. More hideous expressions.

Poor guy. This stuff is killing him. Maybe now I can cash in on his life insurance. By this time I was howling with laughter. Tears were streaming down my face. "Good boy. Take another," I encouraged him. I received the evil eye of death as he poured himself another barely full tablespoon. The roaring and writhing ritual continued for three more sips. Finally, the evil poison was consumed. Afterward, Jeremy looked around, desperate for something. Pointing at me accusingly, he said, "You didn’t even get me a drink of water!"

I laughed maniacally, and poured myself a tablespoon, full to the brim."Bottom's up!" I smirked as I downed it with one gulp. I poured another. Again downed without a thought. I looked at Jeremy and gloated as I playfully licked the spoon.
"You just had to lick the spoon to make a point. Didn’t you?" He said dryly.
I had a great night's sleep last night.