Jeremy has been completely under the weather. Having been coughing for a couple of days, he has kept me up at night. Frankly, I have my own cough going on, and could use the sleep. Last night, he crawled into bed and started sniffing, snorting, sneezing, coughing, hacking, and wheezing.
"Why don't you take something?"
"I'm fine."
"You sound terrible. You should take something," I said again, thinking of myself and my deep desire for a good night's sleep.
"Nah, I'll be ok."
"Quit being a tough guy, and take something. Oh I get it, you don’t want to go back down two flights of steps. If I go get some drugs, will you take it?"
"oh, alright, " he conceded.
I ran to the kitchen where I keep our medicine and got out the generic, cherry flavored NyQuil. Now, I know NyQuil is not world renown as having and exquisite and delicate flavor, but the cherry isn't too bad. In fact, usually the generic brand is better tasting than the regular name brand. I don’t really have a problem with it. I brought the NyQuil and the measuring spoons upstairs."Here you go," I said as I handed Jeremy the spoon and magic elixir that promised me a good night sleep.
"How much am I supposed to take?"
"Hmm, lesseee here," I took the bottle back and read the label. "Looks like two tablespoons."
"TWO TABLESPOONS?!?!?!?" He replied, incredulously. "How about I just take half a dose?"
"You're a big guy, you should take the full dose."
"I'll be fine. I don’t need it."
"Well, I won't," I said. "You kept me up last night with all your carrying on, and I want to be able to sleep. I'm sick too, you know."
"Fine, I'll take it," he said with a big sigh. Jeremy poured himself about 3/4ths of the tablespoon, as if I'm not going to notice the spoon wasn’t full. Suddenly a huge magnetic force caused the spoon to resist making it to his mouth.
"You're gonna spill it," I said.
He's made faces. He hadn’t even taken a sip.
"Quit being a baby. The kids take medicine better than this. Just down it and quit the dramatics."
He took a very very small sip."GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ERRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" He writhed and shook the bed.
Oh man, did I switch the nyquil with the Cyanide? I must have. "Com'mon, just finish the darn tablespoon. Its not that much!"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! ARRRRRRRRRRGHH! I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS!" more writhing and shaking, his face was contorted beyond recognition.
"You're gonna wake up the kids carrying on that way...just finish the darn spoonful; you still have another to go!" I tried hard not to giggle.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!! ARRRRRGGHH RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" This time he growled louder. More hideous expressions.
Poor guy. This stuff is killing him. Maybe now I can cash in on his life insurance. By this time I was howling with laughter. Tears were streaming down my face. "Good boy. Take another," I encouraged him. I received the evil eye of death as he poured himself another barely full tablespoon. The roaring and writhing ritual continued for three more sips. Finally, the evil poison was consumed. Afterward, Jeremy looked around, desperate for something. Pointing at me accusingly, he said, "You didn’t even get me a drink of water!"
I laughed maniacally, and poured myself a tablespoon, full to the brim."Bottom's up!" I smirked as I downed it with one gulp. I poured another. Again downed without a thought. I looked at Jeremy and gloated as I playfully licked the spoon.
"You just had to lick the spoon to make a point. Didn’t you?" He said dryly.
I had a great night's sleep last night.
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