I enjoy the winter Olympics. I like watching the bob-sled, the luge, the skiing, and especially the snowboarding half-pipe. I even like curling, of all things. But I have never ever ever been able to get excited or enthusiastic about ice skating, in any of it's forms. Sure, I can appreciate the sport, the athleticism and coordination that is required to perform complex movements to music on a slippery, hard surface. After all, I can barely make it around the loop without falling on my butt. However, watching skaters on t.v. in crazy costumes 'dance' to music isn't exactly my idea of a good time.
The girls, however, love, love, love it. For the last few nights, they've used their big, pleading, brown eyes to weaken my defenses. "We can snuggle on the couch, under a big fluffy blanket and watch Ice Dancing. Doesn't that sound wonderful? Ohhh! Please please please please please?" Ruthie and Hannah said, stumbling over each others' words.
"Oh, ok. But we have to record it, because you won't be able to be up that late, and then we can finish watching it tomorrow." Foolish foolish words. For the last three days I've been watching Ice Dancing. Tomorrow I will still be watching Ice Dancing. And after that, it will be figure skating. Oh joy. Will wonders never cease.
Ruthie is the self-appointed fashion critic for Ice Dancing costuming. She also feels a need to determine whether a competitor is attractive or not. "Her outfit is pretty, and she's actually attractive."
"BUT HER UNDERWEAR IS SHOWING!" Hannah exclaimed loudly as the guy flipped the girl around his shoulders.
"That's not her underwear, it's her leotard," I said.
"Doesn't matter if you see her leotard or not. It's just a leotard," Ruth stated, as if she knew all there was to know about leotards and ice dancing.
We continued watching pair after pair when my bloodthirsty youngest said, "Aren't they going to show any stumbles?"
"No Hannah, this is live. If they were going to show stumbles, it would mean it just happened right now," Ruth explained.
The next few minutes passed silently with the occasional "Wow, they're good," or "Whoa" passing through their lips, until the Ice Dancing commentator became really quiet. I suppose Ruthie felt the need to fill the air with words, as if the Dancers' music wasn't enough noise.
"Are they American?"
"Have you ever thought a guy might be singing this?"
"And you know, you have to be flexible to do some of this."
"I was wondering why he was all casual, and she's all fancy."
"Now those two are NOT attractive."
"They make it look SO easy."
"Your hair must look pretty wild after skating."
Hannah continued to murmur her agreement along with each and every one of Ruth's remarks, until I happened to look up again at the television to see the female Ice Dancer pick up her partner. "Whoa!" I said, "SHE PICKED HIM UP!"
"Yup. She must be pretty strong," Hannah said.
The girls became rather silent after that, engrossed in the brother-sister pair representing Great Britain, until one of the French competitors had their turn.
"I don't remember THEM being in the competition."
"Yes, Hannah, they were in the Original Dance, remember?" Ruth said exasperated. A thought occurred to her. "I wonder if they feel ridiculous."
"I think the brother and sister feel ridiculous because they are brother and sister," Hannah said, referring to the previous couple.
"Yeah, I'd feel ridiculous if it were me and Josh."
I found my attention drifting away when the bright colored costumes of the Russian skaters caught my eye. As flamboyant as their costumes, the choice of music was heavy, boisterous, and loud. I couldn't wait for their segment to end.
"The Russians think this is good music?" Ruth asked, incredulous. "Their outfits are CRAZY!"
"Especially that one," Hannah pointed to the female's bright red costume.
"The girl's outfit is weird. I suppose it's supposed to be fire," Ruth said.
"But what about the guy's?"
"I dunno. I guess it's smoke."
"OH! I get it!" Hannah said.
"Mama, is it supposed to be smoke?" Ruth asked me.
Hannah saved me from answering, "Yeah, I think he is supposed to be smoke."
I just shrugged and looked clueless. How much longer before bed time?
"The Russians have weird music." Ruthie said
"Is this supposed to be happy music?" Hannah asked. I just looked at her. This was in no way 'happy music' they were skating to.
"Well, at least they're very sparkly." Ruthie tried to find the positive.
Unfortunately, for me, we didn't get to finish watching Ice Dancing before they had to get to bed. And since they hit the record button so that they could catch the woman's figure skating "Short Program" which airs tonight, I know there's much more ice skating in my near future. So, my question is, do I get a medal for watching this stuff under duress?
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