Caution!

"For Christmas, I want a sword.  A nerf sword. They have these two-handed swords at Target," The Boy told me and anyone who would listen.

Later I asked Jeremy, "So, uh, when do boys outgrow things like nerf swords."
"Oh, we never outgrow swords," he told me. "But we do outgrow nerf. You know, like my machete."  Oh yes, the machete he had when he was fourteen.  Um, I think I'll just be grateful Josh is still in the Nerf stage of sword collecting.

Christmas morning came, and much to his delight, he opened his most coveted gift:


The reaction was more than we could have hoped for, until he noticed the text written on the sword and started to read to us, out loud,"Caution: do not poke or jab at people or animals. Use away from breakable objects," he paused. "Really? It's a sword. A SWORD PEOPLE! What else are you gonna do with a sword?"

Last night, the sword in question just happened to be in the car. We were giving Julia, a ninth grader from a near-by school district, a ride home from a youth event. She was sitting in the third seat when Joshua handed back to her his Christmas present. "Now read the warning," he commanded.  Julia started laughing.  "It's a SWORD! What else are you gonna do with a sword? Oh I know, I'm gonna pet Joshua with the sword. Here Joshua. Pet Josh with the sword. Nice Joshua," she crooned, as she reached around Josh's seat to pat him on the head with the sword.

"Hmm. I dunno," Josh said, "Seems an awful lot like 'poking or jabbing at a person' to me." He made quote marks with his fingers.
"No this is poking," she said, jabbing him in the arm.
"True. True." Josh said.
"I mean, what fun is a sword if you can't jab at people?" Julia asked, incredulously.
"My point, exactly." He sighed.

Here's your sign.