Oswald's Great Escape

Let me see here. If I sniff at the door enough...yes. And If I put my front paws on the door. No? No...darn, they're not getting the hint.  Maybe some circles? Circling the cage, pacing...think caged tiger. Caged tiger.  Nope, not working. HEY! Hey guys! Man, this sucks. Why can't we bunnies have a roar, or a growl, or even a loud whine of some kind.  But no, all we can do is thump. Thump! Yeah, that's it.  I'll thump.  Sigh. The humans are ignoring that too.  I know. I know exactly what will tick the very large human off. I'll toss my food dish. That's it, carefully, carefully, grab the dish with my pointy teeth...there we go. I got it! I got it! Now flick it behind me. And dance on it a bit. Push it around with my nose.  Oh! Oh! That got the little human's attention. I don't really like the little one. She's too loud, and she tries to use me as a pillow all the time. But maybe, just maybe she has her uses.

Wait, she saying something...what is she saying? Sounds like Oswald...oh oh oh! That's me! That's me! I'm Oswald! Hey guys! That's me! I'll twitch my nose faster and put the paws up on the door again so she knows I'm paying attention. Oh! OH! She's pointing at me! This could be good.  This could be very good. Oh yeah! I heard the word "out" as in "out of this cage."

YESSSSSSS! One of the medium sized humans is opening the cage door. I like this one. He wears the fuzzy pants all the time. I like chasing the fuzzy pants.  No! Don't pick me up! No! NO! NO!  Wiggle! Squirm! Dang, he flicked my nose.  I hate when he flicks my nose. Wait. He's carrying me. Where's he carrying me? Outside??? I LOVE OUTSIDE! Wiggle and squirm some more, maybe this time I can get away from his arms.  DOh! Another nose flick. Gah! I hate that!

You're lowering me too slow! Too Slow! I want to get down! LET ME DOWN! Whew. Grass. Yummy Yummy grass. I love grass. OH and clover! Lots of clover.  Hey look, my hidey hole is still there. Quick! Before the smaller human gets me!  Wait? Where's the fuzzy pants human going? Back inside? Ooh, today might be the day.  Today might be the day I get to discover the world outside this fence. Yeah baby!

Oh man, that other human is in my yarn now. She doesn't live in the house. She just comes to see the other female human. Here comes the bigger girl human. She's not so bad until her friend comes over. They giggle and shriek and make lots of loud noise.  I'm definitely hiding.

What's this? Those two humans are leaving? They're going out the gate? YESSS!  Today might be the day. Today I might break free from this yard.  Today I might see the world!  It's all a matter of hiding, and waiting, and looking like I'm happy laying here in the dirt hole I've been digging.


 And, look! It's only the smallest human left. She rarely pays attention to me out here. This might be it. This might be the day.  Where's she going? Inside? INSIDE? REALLY? Yes! Oh oh...DRAT! The bigger human is watching me at the door.  Crouch down, crouch down...flatten ears. I am a rock. Yes I am. I am invisible because I am a rock. Not a bunny.  You don't see a bunny. Look away from the rabbit. Look away from...yes...that's it. The big human is turning away from the door.  Dang it! She's back. The littlest human is back, sigh.  Not today.  WAIT! She's going back inside. It's now or never...RUN!!!!!!

YES! They forgot to shut the gate! YES! I'M FREE! I"M FREE! Oh no! MORE HUMANS! AND SMALLER THAN THE OTHER HUMAN! I didn't know they came in smaller sizes!!!! NOOOO!!! They're shrieking! And chasing me! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!! There's a bush, and a tree, and another bush.  Hide! HIDE!

Ackk! It's another human! He's huge!  RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!

Wait a minute. Wait just one minute. He's big, but he's slow. This is good. This is very very good. Muhahahahaha!

Can't catch me, you pathetic excuse for mankind.  Sure, go around that side of the tree, I'm going on this side. Haha. Can't reach me. Silly human.  I'm not coming out.  Sure, come on in. HA! I fooled ya.  Now you're full of pine needles. Oh, coming around again? Check this move out. I'll just lay here nice and still as if you can just reach down and get me. That's right, com'mon get a little closer...now the hands come down...as if.  You think I'm gonna let you grab me. HA! Through the legs...booyah! ha ha ha ha ha....oh. Uh oh. Another pair of shoes. I know those shoes. Gulp.  It's the other human.  It's her.  Dang.  What to do? What to do? I know.

Submissive pose. That's right, nice and flat. See? My ears are laid back? See? I'm a good bunny. I'm a goooooooood boy. I didn't mean to get out...it was those other humans. They left the gate unlocked. I couldn't help it. I'm just a dumb bunny. I don't know what's my yard and what isn't. See? I'm letting you pick me up. I'm so sorry. Just so sorry. See how good I'm being? What's this? No! No! Let me down! Let me down! You can't let those tiny humans near me! ACK! What's this? Punishment? This is torture? NOOOOOOO!!!

Does she want to pet the bunny? Who is my human kidding? This tiny human wants to maul the bunny. She just chased me all over kingdom come. She's worse than the small human living in my house. Don't let her maul me! Please! Don't!  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Gack! Ugh.  Well, ok. That wasn't too bad, I guess. Better when you're there to keep her from mushing my ears into my skull.

 Now where are you taking me? Inside? Inside? I have to go in? I get tortured by the tiny humans and now I have to go in? Drat!  No, no...don't lower me into the cage. Nope. Maybe if I put my back feet out...dang. She knows all my tricks. Sigh. There goes the cage door.  I'm just gonna flop here for now...review my plan...see where I made my mistakes...and revise.

Until next time.