Hannah is my comedian. At least she thinks she is.
We were enjoying a quiet dinner. Quiet, because Joshua wasn't home. I don't remember where he was, but all I can say is, it was the first peaceful dinner we've had in awhile. That's probably wrong to say, but it's true. He's loud. He drums. He stomps on the floor. He taps his plate with his fork. He interrupts conversations. He chews like a cow and inhales his food like it's going out of style. And he gets up and down from the table about eighty times in a twenty minute period. For no good reason. Heaven help his future dinner date. Most of our dinners sound like this:
"Joshua chew with your mouth closed."
"Joshua, only put enough on your fork for your mouth. If you have to take three bites, it's too much."
"Joshua quit fidgetting."
"Joshua, why are you out of your chair again?"
"Joshua quit kicking your sister."
"Joshua chew. Don't inhale it. Taste your dinner."
"Joshua, wait till your sister is done talking, then you can have your turn."
I decided to take advantage of the quiet conversation, the pleasant passing of food, by using my built in snitch, aka Ruthie, to check up on The Boy.
"How's Joshua doing in Chorus?" I asked.
"He's OK. He already has one strike. If he gets two more, he can't participate in the winter concert," Ruth said.
"Two more in the next three months? Or does it start over the next Chorus rehearsal."
"Two more in the next three months."
Jeremy and I exchanged a look that said, "Joshua won't be singing in the winter concert." We couldn't imagine him making it three more months without doing anything strike worthy.
Ruth interrupted our telepathy by saying, "He sits with his friends."
Uh-oh I thought, this is why he's in peril of being kicked out of Chorus. "So, who are his friends in Chorus?" I asked.
"Thomas and, Um, Um..."
"Jefferson!" Hannah said. "Get it? Get it? Jefferson. As in Thoooooomas Jeeeeefferson? Get it? Thomas Jefferson is a president. It's a joke. Do you get it?"
Sigh. Hannah don't quit your day job.
No comments:
Post a Comment