I will never ever understand the mind of a man...

...nor a man in training.

Last night, for the umpteenth millionth time in ten years, Joshua took on his father in a wrestling match. Sure, all boys wrestle their dads, but stubborn, determined boys wrestle their dads for two hours or more trying to win. That's my boy. He won't give up. I've watched more matches end with him so exhausted, his muscles are too fatigued to let him up off the floor. I think the longest match ended after nearly two and a half hours.

Now, I'm not certain how father/son wrestling looks in other homes, but in ours, Joshua tries to pin his father down, which almost always inevitably turns into him being pinned to the floor. The rules of the game suddenly change, now the object is for Joshua to become unpinned. The wrestling is rather "calm" so to speak. There isn't a whole lot of jumping and pushing and shoving. More like Jeremy holding the kid down, and the kid wriggling and squirming. Joshua gets into a position that almost secures his freedom, which would guarantee his winning "The Game," however Jeremy quickly repositions and gets Joshua pinned down again. Pinning doesn't necessarily mean Joshua's shoulders are to the floor, it just means he can’t get out from Dad's grip. Sometimes Dad is on the floor on his back and Joshua is lying on top of Dad held down by Dad's arms and legs. It's quite a game, and Joshua has never won, until last night.

This is the part where I don't understand the male mind. Joshua has never won. He even loathes to concede, but has in the past because he was too tired to go on, and he has cried when he had to do so. It doesn't matter that he gave his father's muscles a two-hour work-out, he can't see the positive that he didn't give up so easily. No, he has to win and he doesn't want anyone to "let" him win. He hates that, and always has. And the fact that he had never won "The Game" in the past makes him determined to keep trying. I've learned "The Game" is a bonding agent for him and his dad. I learned that "The Game" has taught Joshua his place in "the pack". He knows, for certain, that Dad is not to be reckoned with. He respects Dad more because of "The Game." He feels loved by his Dad because Dad plays "The Game" with him. It's a total battle of the wills on the floor of my living room and it looks completely different from when the girls wrestle with Dad.

The other interesting thing I observed last night, is that there are unspoken "rules" to this game. In one moment where Joshua was pinned down, he had relaxed his muscles for a minute to gather his strength and thoughts, and to try and catch his Dad off-guard before making yet another attempt at escape. We caught each other's gaze, and I tried to get him to tickle his Dad's arm pits.

"OHHHHHH NO!" Joshua chided me, "If I do that, then that means tickling can be included in the game. I'm not going there." I learned a new rule to "The Game."

I watched them tussle. I watched the clock. About an hour into "The Game", I started cheering for Joshua. He was so close to earning his freedom so many times, I couldn't stand it. I wanted him to win, just once. The mom in me just wanted my baby to win. Well, my cheering spurred on a new burst of energy, and he began to fight harder to get out. He squirmed and tried to break Jeremy's pose. Between his wriggling, and my cheering, Jeremy started to laugh, which distracted him well enough to allow Joshua to break free. He won. For the first time in ten years, he won "The. Game." Sweaty and panting, Joshua stood up on wobbly legs and stumbled a bit into the kitchen. He downed a glass of water and then tried to catch his breath.

"No fair," Jeremy said, "You made me laugh."
"All's fair," I retorted, "He can make you laugh to break free."
"No," Jeremy looked at me accusingly while still chuckling, "YOU made me laugh."
"Yeah, Whatever," I replied, "He still won."
"Hey Bud," Jeremy turned and looked at Joshua, "You've been waiting for that moment for ten years, haven't you."
Tired and grinning from ear to ear, Joshua nodded. I sent him upstairs for a bath and to get ready for bed. He slept in this morning. Gee, I wonder why?