Sunday was our twelfth anniversary. It's just so hard to believe we've been married twelve years. What's even harder to believe is that we've been a couple for almost fourteen years. And then when I think about how long I actually knew the Jeremy. or rather knew of him, I can count back nineteen years. Yes, that's right, nineteen years.
I had just moved to the new school eight weeks before my seventh grade year was about to end. And when I started back up in eighth grade, I still knew nobody. I remember being shuffled into the auditorium for the school spelling bee. I daydreamed through most of it, but I did pay attention to the last two contestants. The Jeremy. was one of them. I cannot remember who he was against, I just remember being told by the girl next to me, "Route for him, because she's annoying." I vaguely remember hoping he'd win, because the girl next to me told me too.
The next memory I have of my husband when we were kids, was of my sister being the Jeremy's best friend's "girlfriend" for all of two months. A typical jr. high romance, they held hands in school, and called each other at night to watch Star Trek TNG while on the phone. All I remember aside from that, is that everywhere my sister's "boy friend" was, there was the Jeremy. somewhere near behind.
After eighth grade, we spent four years in gym class together. I watched him barely make it through warm-ups. I'm sure if he were observant, he'd have said the same of me. The two most uncoordinated people in gym, we always ended up being the last to pass the torturous skills tests. In gym, we had to pass a battery of skills tests to be able to play the sport-du-jour. Every so often, for one reason or another, gym class would be cancelled and we'd sit on the bleachers for the entire class period. It was a very rare occurrence, but I remember one of these times, the Jeremy. sat near me. "You're not very good at gym, are you?" He asked. He had a habit of being rather to the point.
"No, but neither are you," I retorted.
He laughed and then said, "Have you ever played mental tic-tac-toe?"
"No, can't say that I have," I wasn't sure at this point if I should be creeped out by this guy or not. And he proceeded, whether I was interested or not in playing mental tic-tac-toe to point out the finer details of the game. Before I knew it, I was saying numbers, and losing horribly to this guy I barely knew.
By our junior year, I was in at least three classes with the Jeremy.: Gym, Health, and Chemistry. My memory of him of that year is a little bit better because we tended to have a lot of contact in chemistry. He liked this girl who was a friend of mine. Actually, he had a crush on her since the sixth grade, and so whenever she and I would do "group work" he'd invite himself to be a part of our little group. One particular time we were working on a worksheet together, I felt this pair of eyes on me. I looked up, and the Jeremy. was staring at me. "Does it bother you when I stare at you like this?" he asked in a very creepy sounding, yet flat voice.
"Um, yeah," I replied wondering what on earth was wrong with this kid.
"I thought so." He said and returned to his work.
I rolled my eyes and ignored him.
I also knew the Jeremy. as the braniac in the back of the class. There was this boy, Brian, who sat near the front but always looked towards the back. Whenever the Jeremy. would raise his hand, Brian would shake his head. I sat near the middle and gauged Brian's reaction, because if he shook his head, that meant the Jeremy. had a question, and that meant we were in for a very complicated question, and a brain draining answer. Whenever Brian shook his head, the whole class groaned silently.
I chose not to go to our junior prom, and in doing so, I was left to be in school all prom-day, while prom goers got to go home early to get beautified. The Jeremy. was also not going to the prom. We were the only two kids in health and chemistry. In health class, we shoved the chalkboard eraser back and forth along the chalk/eraser holder thing at the bottom of the board, making a game of it. And in chemistry we catalogued chemicals. "You're not going to the prom?!??" the Jeremy. asked me incredulously.
"No. I went last year, it was ok. It's just too expensive and everyone ends up going home miserable because they leave with people they didn't come with and then dates end up being dumped. I don't know how many girls I counted in the bathroom crying. I had fun because I went with my boyfriend, but I don't have a boyfriend this year since we broke up, and I just don't want to go."
Tuning out that whole spiel, he replied, "Oh, you look like the type to be able to get a date to go." He paused for a minute, and added, "I'm just really surprised, I really thought you'd go to the prom." After an awkward bit of silence, we continued to catalogue chemicals. (Years later, I found out, the Jeremy. didn't even remember this conversation...or that I was even in any of his classes!).
Our senior year, we ended up in three classes again: Physics, Calculus, and of course, Gym. By this point, we were kind of getting to know each other, and when we were both trying to pass skills tests in gym, we began working together. One test for volleyball was "pass ten bumps back and forth to a partner." Maybe not so hard for someone who has coordination, but he and I never got it. We'd maybe pass two or three bumps or sets to each other, and then the ball would go wild across the gymnasium and interrupt the game that was going on amongst the students who had passed their skills tests, much to their annoyance.
In Physics, he sat at my table because our last names put us there, but it also put him right next to his crush, and so it was the three of us again, working through group projects, labs, etc. In calculus, he sat in front of his friend, who was a mutual friend of mine, and the three of us would work on assignments together. I attempted studying calculus, once, with this Jeremy. Instead, he showed me fractals, made me listen to Vivaldi's Rite of Spring, and I don't remember what all else. I never attempted studying with him again and chose to study with our mutual friend, who actually was trying to pass calculus. I'll never forget the day when our friend said, "Man I'm failing miserably in this class."
To which, the Jeremy. replied very cheerfully, "Oh I don't know, I'm failing quite happily in this class."
Yeah.
It really was through the school musical and our trip to Disney World, that I began to get to really know the Jeremy. My sister was in the pit orchestra, so was the Jeremy. and I was one of the leads. She carted him to practice and home a couple of times. Since we shared a vehicle, when they started putting the orchestra with the stage players, I, obviously, came along. It was around that time, I found out later, he began to crush on me. He'd make faces at me from the pit. When I was trying to be serious and sing my part, he was busy trying to derail my concentration. He'd sing lines from my part to me in the hall way. He changed his seat in Physics class, so he was now sitting between his former crush and me. Somewhere near Prom time he asked me to go with him. I said "No, I'm not going." Towards the end of the year he handed me two poems he had written for me. I wish I had kept them, but I wasn't interested in him, and so I tossed the pieces of paper upon which he had confessed his love for me. Thankfully he was very persistent.
The Jeremy. headed out for the army the day after graduation, and I didn't see him for six months. He continued to write me, sent me a birthday card, and when he got out of Basic Training, he called. And through those months I started to realize I really cared about him. He came home for Christmas, and I saw him. My family claims it was the push-ups that won me over, but I think it was the enduring friendship combined with realizing that he was my match. And he could make me laugh. I think he cracks me up every day . We're opposite in many ways, but have many common interests. He balances me out. I balance him. And sometimes that is what makes our relationship difficult. But it is also the thing that has made me a better person. I would not be the woman I am today if it weren't for him.
We dated about a year and a half long distance. He was in California; I was in Pennsylvania. When the army told him he was probably being sent to Germany, I told him, I couldn't do the trans-Atlantic distance, so we decided to get married. It has been an interesting journey so far when I think of where we've been, what we've been through, and then I wonder where we're going. I suppose only time will tell. :)
